Hello, and welcome!
Let’s chat, shall we? I read wonderfully written articles and blogs by women and men alike who are always dressed to the nines, workout at 5am everyday like robots, and can hack the shit out of that $9.99 IKEA side table that nobody likes. Saying these people have their shit together is an understatement.
Don’t get me wrong, I love these people, I need these people. When I’m feeling really good about myself, I need these people to bring me down a notch and remind me that buying store-bought cookie dough and eating the entire log raw does not, in fact, count as baking.
For years, I’ve aspired to be like this subspecies of human. I will forever try to get on their level, but let’s be real, someone who has, more than once, waxed their own eyebrow off while “shaping” will never be on their level.
I’m here to represent the little folks, and let you know that here you’re not judged by how shitty your DIY sliding barn door you found on Pinterest turned out.
Instead, we’ll chat about the important things, like the necessary amount of time to wait when dating someone new before you clue them in to the fact that you’re batshit insane. We’ll test out and review that forty of Olde English 800 your grandpa always had stocked in the fridge next to the Popov and the half-eaten mayonnaise sandwich. We’ll plan that Sunday morning
But mostly, you’ll get a look into my daily world, complete with all my shortcomings and questionable decision-making abilities.
So sit back, crack open a beer, and leave all your guilt at the front door. Welcome to my world!